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Dating can be an anxious time for the most confident of people.
Whether it’s a blind date or a first date with someone you’ve known for a while, it’s entirely normal to get nervous about what to say, what to wear or if you’ll even like the person you’re dating.
But before you go out and commit yourself to a whole evening of bad dating, why not familiarise yourself with some of the ‘red flags’ of a bad date.
Users on question-and-answer website Quora shared some of their biggest dating bugbears.
If they’re judgmental
Howie Reith wrote that a person being judgemental would be a turn off while on a date.
He wrote: “Whether they’re judgemental of me or of anyone else in the vicinity, including ranting about individuals or categories of people, whether it’s a race or political group or whatever.”
Love and sex news: in pictures
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1/17
Gym ‘used as a hook-up spot’
People who hope to find love and get fit in the New Year may find it surprisingly easy to tick off both goals, as a new survey has revealed that half of adults use the gym as a hook-up venue, while a quarter admit to having sex there. Apparently not put off by the surroundings, a new survey of how Britons behave in the gym has found that 25 per cent claimed to have had sex there at least once in the past 12 months
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2/17
Erectile dysfunction ‘linked to risk of early death’
Men who suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED) are 70 per cent more likely to die early, a new study has found. US scientists believe that the disorder may be linked to poor cardiovascular health, and suggested that men with ED should be screened for health issues that could cut their lives short
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3/17
39 per cent of workers have sex at Christmas parties
The festive season may be a time for good will and sharing – but it’s also apparently the perfect excuse to hook-up with the cute person from accounts, according to a survey which has revealed that 39 per cent of people have had sex at their work Christmas party. Even more people admitted that the annual knees-up offered the chance to kiss a co-worker, with over locking lips at the event. A survey of 2,000 UK adults by high-street lingerie retailer Ann Summers revealed that IT and HR are the professions most likely to snog or have sex with a colleague or get incredibly drunk at the Christmas party, at 63 per cent and 56 per cent respectively.This was compared with 27 per cent of those in education and 29 per cent in health
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4/17
Durex calls for a condom emoji
Emojis have come a long way in recent years – since they were first integrated into Unicode in 2010, we’ve gained emojis of all different ethnicities, emojis for every flag in the world, and even the middle finger emoji. However, we’re still missing a condom emoji. Durex wants to change that. It’s easy to suggest sex with emojis (think aubergine, peach, the ‘OK’ sign), but there’s nothing that shows safe sex. So, to coincide with World AIDS Day on 1 December, Durex is encouraging its customers to call upon the Unicode Consortium, who oversee the introduction of new emoji, to give the world a condom emoji in their next update
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5/17
Spliting the housework equally is the secret to a better sex life
Better communication, getting more exercise, oysters, more date nights, time away from the kids – these are just a few common theories for how couples can improve their sex life. But now, a new study has offered up a different one, suggesting that the key to being more satisfied between the sheets could in part be down to taking it in turns to wash them. According to the study from the University of Alberta, couples enjoyed more frequent and satisfying sex for both partners when the housework is split equally across men and women
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6/17
Arguing with a partner is beneficial
Arguing in a relationship is not often seen as having a positive impact on both partners. But a new study from US psychologists suggests that if each party feels understood, falling out does not have a detrimental impact on their satisfaction in the relationship. Researchers at the University of California said feeling understood appeared to improve a relationship on its own, regardless of any practical consequence of that understanding. And when people felt their partners understood them, the conflict was not only not harmful but actually good for the relationship
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7/17
Ireland gay marriage
Same-sex couples in the Republic of Ireland can officially get married after the country voted overwhelmingly for the change in a referendum in May. Legislation legalising gay civil marriage, passed following the vote, came into effect on 16 November 2015. The first couples to be affected will be gay couples who married legally abroad – whose unions will now automatically be recognised by the Irish state. But the race is now on to see who which couple will become the first gay newlyweds to legally marry in Eire itself
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8/17
‘Female Viagra’ approved
A drug dubbed the ‘female Viagra’ has finally been approved by the US Food and Drug administration but concerns have been raised over the drug’s possible side effects. Flibanserin, produced by Sprout Pharmaceuticals, was approved by the FDA on the third application in five years – after twice failing over concerns regarding possible side-effects.
AP
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9/17
Grindr users surveyed on sexual preferences
Grindr users are not that gay, at least according to a new survey. More than 300 users on the gay dating app, contacted by Pink News as part of an informal study, did not identifying as exclusively attracted to men.
The study used the Kinsey scale, based on the work of sexologist Alfred Kinsey, which ranges from 0 (exclusively straight) to 6 (exclusively gay) and also allows identification as asexual (X).
Pink News found that the average answer was around five, with the most frequent answer being five, followed by six and then four when they contacted users from their office in central London.
Rex
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10/17
Watching porn does not cause negative attitudes to women
The average porn user may have more egalitarian views towards women than non-users, a contentious new study has suggested. Researchers at Western University in Canada have even argued that many pornography fans might be “useful allies” in women’s struggles for equality in the workplace and in public office. They reported in the Journal of Sex Research that the 23 per cent of people who said they had watched an “X-rated” film during the previous year were no more or less likely to identify as feminists than those who did not watch porn.
Getty
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11/17
The characteristics of men who pay for sex
Men who pay for sex share similar traits to rapists and sex offenders, according to new research. A study from University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), claims that men who have sex with female sex workers feel less empathy for them than men who do not buy sex. Part of this reason is due to the fact that they view them as “intrinsically different from other women,” according to the authors.
Getty Images
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12/17
How much sex we have (and how much we’d like)
As a nation, we don’t have as much sex as we would like, a survey has (somewhat unsurprisingly) confirmed. In a poll of 1523 people by YouGov, 64 per cent of Britons said they would wish to have sex at least a few times a month. The same sample said that only 38 per cent had sex at least a few times a month.
In addition, 10 per cent said they wished to have sex every day, a goal which only 1 per cent admitted reaching.
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13/17
One per cent of Britons ‘have never felt sexually attracted to anyone at all’
An estimated 1% of Britons have almost no interest in sexual activity, according to researchers.
The identity, which describes rarely or never experiencing sexual attraction, has moved from a diagnosis of mental disorder in the past to a sexual orientation in its own right today.
As public interest in “asexuality” grows, researchers at Glasgow University have found that romance and intimacy is still very much on the cards for those who take the label.
Rex
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14/17
Women really are more attracted to men who make them laugh
Researchers at an American university have claimed that humour is a key factor in human “sexual selection”, with women appearing to be more attracted to men who make them laugh. Jeffrey Hall, an associate professor of Communication Studies at the University of Kansas, found that when two strangers meet, the more times a man tries to be funny and a woman laughs, the more likely she is to be interested in dating.
The reverse was not true for women who attempted humour, according to his study “Sexual Selection and Humour in Courtship: A Case for Warmth and Extroversion,” which has been published in the Evolutionary Psychology journal.
Getty
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15/17
What makes a perfect penis?
Scientists have now answered one of these great unknowns. According to a new study, “general cosmetic appearance” is the most important penile aspect when it comes to what women value down there. This is swiftly followed by the appearance of pubic hair, penile skin, and girth. Length comes in at number six, with the look of the scrotum trailing closely behind.
The least important facet of the phallus, say the scientists, is the “position and shape of meatus”, the vertical slit at the opening of the urethra.
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16/17
Students who marry after studying the same subject
Picking a university subject is already difficult enough for young people. But here’s an extra piece of data to weigh on your decision: you may be picking a life partner as well. Dan Kopf of the blog, Priceonomics, analysed US Census data and found that the percentage of Americans who marry someone within their own major is actually fairly high.
About half of Americans are married, according to the 2012 American Community Survey (part of the Census). And about 28 per cent of married couples over the age of 22 both graduated from college. (The survey didn’t recognise same-sex marriages for the 2012 data, but it will for 2013 onwards, says Kopf)
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17/17
Half of divorcees had doubts on their wedding day
Over half of divorcees considered abandoning their husband or wife-to-be at the altar on their wedding day, a new study has revealed. On top of likely worrying about wedding favours and making sure guests behave on their big day, 49 per cent of divorcees admitted they were unsure before the ceremony that their marriage would last.
Some 15 per cent of divorcees polled said they were so wracked with doubt that they felt physically sick in the run up to their wedding.
Getty Images
If they’re disrespectful
Michael Diamond explained that disrespecting those around them – including waiting stuff – would signal that a date was not a good person.
“It’s easy to be nice to someone you want to impress. But are you nice to the waitress, and the Uber driver and the ice cream server? Those are real tells of character. If someone is mean to the people around them, that’s a red flag.”
If they’re a phone addict
Gwen Sawchuk said someone constantly using their mobile phone would annoy them on a date.
“I’m here. Let’s talk. Let’s have a good time. No, you don’t have to post every word you say to social media. Everyone is allowed to have 1 hour a day to eat a meal without taking a text. There, I said it. Put your phone away.”
If they’re late
Charlotte Lang thought that being late – without prior warning – would be a sign that a date may not be all they seem.
“Being more than 15 minutes late without a text or phone call telling me you’re delayed. I’ll give you a 15 minute window-traffic, accidents, or other unplanned things can derail you. But if you’re gonna be late, tell me. I have no problem if you tell me you’re delayed.”
If they’re competitive
Tina Marie Balacano warned of dates with a competitive streak.
“Does your date one-up all of your stories? Is the conversation filled with name-dropping and stories of overachievement? If she a workaholic? You’re looking for a partner, not a nemesis. And you want her to be available to you, not holed up in the office obsessed with climbing the corporate ladder faster than her peers.”
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Tonight’s episode of The Bachelor can be summed up by one word: “Oh-livia”!
The contestant from Austin, Texas was front and center this episode. From start to finish, Olivia could not help adding drama to the show, which took place this week in Las Vegas.
Olivia’s Pep Talk
When the show began, Olivia started telling herself whatever she could to feel more confident in her relationship with Bachelor Ben Higgins. Her comments quickly became incredibly ironic as the show progressed:
“I’m not threatened by anyone who goes on a one-on-one date with Ben. Ben is my peace. I’m Zen with Ben.”
“I still believe that Ben and I have the strongest relationship.”
“I feel so good about about what we have. So good.”
Ben’s One-on-One Date with JoJo
When Ben stole JoJo for some alone time, Olivia had her first gut-wrenching experience. Through the women’s hotel window, Olivia saw Ben kiss the other Texan (JoJo is from Dallas) and she started to lose her cool: “I think he’s my husband, and now I feel like I’ve been cheated on.”
The Cringe-Worthy Group Date
As Caila put it, Olivia started “digging her own grave” on the group date. Ben made the girls show off their skills in a talent show. No pressure—it just happened to be in front of about 1,200 people, as the opener for Terry Fator’s ventriloquist show.
In the spirit of Sin City, Olivia decided to jump out of a cake in red lingerie to give Ben a strip tease as her “talent.” It might have scarred him for life. The performance somehow was so painful to watch, yet still impossible to look away! See for yourself:
Afterwards, even she knew it was a potential deal breaker. Olivia broke down into a full-on panic attack. (Also, don’t you love that she said, “I don’t want to be on camera”? News flash to the news anchor: you signed up for one of the most popular reality TV shows out there. Get used to it.)
The other women on the show had little to no sympathy for Olivia’s tearful moment. Emily went so far as to say, “I definitely think she’s full of s—.”
But Olivia’s fellow Bachelor contestants are not the only ones buzzing about her business. In case you have been under a rock in regards to Bachelor gossip, may THR be the first to introduce you to the Internet’s obsession with Olivia’s … mouth. There are more than a dozen real Twitter handles devoted to highlighting her over-the-top facial expressions (@BachelorOlivia has 18.6K followers and counting!) and even ABC can not resist showcasing this quirk of hers:
Before we get to the moment of truth—the rose ceremony, of course—here are a few other highlights from this week’s episode:
Ben took Becca on a very strange one-on-one date. He gave her a wedding dress to wear, and as soon as they saw each other, Ben got down on one knee! Becca started freaking out. (You probably started freaking out!) But Ben stayed calm because … it was a false alarm. He just wanted to tell her in a dramatic way that they would be spending their date marrying other couples in a Vegas chapel. (Not very cool to toy with Becca’s emotions, Ben!)
Hours before the rose ceremony, Chris surprised the girls to share that Ben would take twins Emily and Haley on a twin-on-one date. The three of them headed to the twins’ home (they’re from Vegas) and Ben got to know their dogs, their mom and Haley’s ex-boyfriend? Ben and Haley stepped into her bedroom to find not one, but two framed pictures of Haley and her ex. It definitely left a funny taste in Ben’s mouth, because after a pow-wow with their mom and a solid chat with Emily, he sent Haley home (tearing apart their freaky twin-ship).
Finally, it was time for the rose ceremony. Would Olivia be going home? Had Ben had enough of her drama?
Some might question Ben’s sanity at this point in the season, because he did in fact give Olivia a rose. The other ladies to go home this week were Amber (who almost immediately kicked off her heels and started bawling into a lounge chair after the rejection) and Rachel (who, frankly, had barely received enough TV time for fans to remember her name).
Do you think it is time for Olivia to get the boot? Do you think Ben chose the right twin to continue dating? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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