How to rev up a sputtering relationship

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A UBC researcher explains why some lacy new lingerie might just do the trick

Is your relationship going stale? UBC psychology researcher Heather Morton explains the research behind flagging libidos, and offers tips on reigniting the flames of passion.

Why did you want to study partner novelty?

If you Google “How to enhance sexual desire” or “How to spice up your relationship,” you will find a large number of pop psychology and self-help sites will suggest the idea of novelty. Even couples counsellors will recommend these kinds of strategies: “Take salsa dancing” or “Buy new lingerie.” However, there is a lack of research examining the efficacy of this strategy.
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UBC psychology researcher Heather Morton.

Many non-human animal studies suggest that novelty may plan an important role in sexual functioning. This has been frequently demonstrated by the Coolidge effect, where a male will copulate with a female repetitively until he’s satiated and is no longer interested in continuing. But when a new female is introduced, he’s interested again. Although you clearly can’t do this with humans, there are some areas of research that have examined this phenomenon indirectly.

What have you found?

In our recent review of the literature, we found evidence that suggests men and women’s sexual desire declines over time with familiar partners and returns with novel partners. For instance, research on long-term relationships has shown that sexual frequency, sexual satisfaction, and sexual desire decline over time with the same partner. Remarriage has been shown to result in an increase in sexual frequency, therefore this effect cannot simply be attributed to age.

Laboratory studies examining habituation to erotica also support this idea. If you show someone the same erotic clip over and over again, his or her level of arousal decreases. When you show someone a new clip, his or her arousal is renewed. It appears that the Coolidge effect does occur, to some extent, in both men and women.

Is this depressing news for long-term couples?

It may sound depressing, but it can also be empowering. Men and women are choosing, for the most part, to enter monogamous relationships. There are a lot of benefits to these unions with regards to physical and mental health as well as monetary benefits.

I think it’s also helpful to know the potential downsides associated with these relationships, so you can create strategies to overcome them. What we’re now in the process of studying is whether couples can reverse the effect of declining desire by increasing novelty within their relationship, such as engaging in a greater variety of leisure activities together or in a wider sexual repertoire.

It can also be helpful to understand that this is natural—that there’s not something wrong with you or your partner. My hope is that we can use this information to benefit long-term relationships. Maybe you can have an affair within your own relationship.

Do you have any tips for couples on Valentine’s Day?

Talk with your partner about exciting activities you may want to try together this Valentines, and new sexual experiences you’d like to have together.

Couples may be able to gain the benefits in sexual functioning that accompany a new partner by introducing novelty in other ways. Previous studies have shown that engaging in exciting activities together increases relationship satisfaction, however the impact on sexual functioning was not examined.

Early results from one of our studies suggest that men and women who engage in a greater variety of sexual activities experience greater sexual desire and satisfaction. It appears as though the frequently given advice on “spicing up your relationship” may in fact be spot on.

Find other stories about: love, relationships, Valentine’s Day
Contact

Heather Amos
Media Relations Specialist
Tel: 604.822.3213
Cell: 604.828.3867
heather.amos@ubc.ca
 

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Combing the world for inspiring bras

What do you do?

My job is to design, create and develop lingerie for the JT One brand. I start by researching trends online through affiliations with brands such as Marks Spencer and at the Design Indaba, which is an incredibly inspiring place where creative minds can come together and share different ways of thinking.

I then build the range and develop the products, working closely with Woolworths’s buying and planning teams.

One of the interesting parts of my job is travelling to the fashion capitals – London, New York and Paris – and to the lingerie capitals in Italy and Spain to gain exposure to the international market.

There are technical as well as creative elements to your job as a bra designer. How do you balance the two?

Lingerie is a specialised business — fit and fabric are non-negotiable. We have to make sure that whatever we produce is fun, but that it also meets the Woolworths standard of fit, comfort and quality.

One can be creative with technical application with new innovations and developments — such as when we’re improving or creating new bra moulds and silhouettes or shapes.

Balance is achieved when you have put in the time to develop the technical specifications for the product’s mould and shape, and then you get to experience the joy of choosing fabrics and detail.

For JT One, this is what makes it stands out. The fit, complemented by the pop of detail, colour and trim, give it a wow factor.

As a designer, what inspires you?

Art, music, culture, iconic brands, festivals and social landscapes are huge influences to me. Ultimately, it’s the customers who inspire the brand. They tell us what they want and what they love. Being able to ensure that women feel confident and beautiful in their own skin is the ultimate inspiration. It’s the reason I got into fashion design and ventured into the lingerie industry.

How much freedom do you have in terms of your designs? Are you required to fit in with the coming trends or can you do your own thing?

Our designs are guided by outerwear and underwear trends, and generally what’s fashionable and what’s relevant. As a team, we have the freedom to incorporate these elements into our designs. The exciting part is playing with the fabric selection and detail.

JT One is a unique brand, so we need to ensure we create a signature style. This allows us the freedom to create products that are representative of our brand, product and customer.

How did you find yourself in this position?

I joined Woolworths seven years ago as a design assistant on a short-term contract. I started working in lingerie and then moved — first to women’s wear and then menswear before rejoining lingerie in the JT One team.

I believe it is quite important that, as you move from job to job — whether between companies or within the same one — you upskill, grow and add more value to your career.

What qualifications do you have, and how do they help you do your job?

I hold a fashion design diploma from the Haute Couture School of Fashion Design in Cape Town.

This qualification has allowed me to enter into a designer position with a good base and a broad understanding of the clothing industry.

When you study fashion design, you learn about fit and making a garment through pattern making, construction through sewing, what makes a successful business and about the industry through business studies.

I do believe there should be more emphasis on computer-aided design drawings — fashion illustration on computer. Many colleges are starting to do this only now, and it’s so important when entering a company such as Woolworths or its suppliers. It’s a vital tool for drawing up the technical specifications.

What do you love most about your job?

Creating products — being able to dive into the design and detail of the product. The really fun part is seeing one’s finished product in store and getting positive feedback from customers. I love working with a brand that has so many creative possibilities. Creating something fun that builds relationships with customers means being strategic and thinking about creating a business, not just about creating an item of clothing.

What mistakes do women tend to make when choosing bras for themselves and how can they avoid them?

The biggest mistake most women make is not knowing their correct bra size, which leads to ill-fitting bras. My advice: get measured for your correct size. Remember, everyone is a different shape and women’s bodies go through so many changes as they go through life.

Also remember that different bra shapes have different uses. Different brands also provide different shapes for different bodies.

• This article was first published in Sunday Times: Business Times

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