The ultimate ‘guy’s guide’ to buying lingerie

I love lingerie. Absolutely love it. But truth be told, it’s not something I typically purchase for myself or splurge on often. My husband loves lingerie, too (no surprise there!) but buying me the just-right thing, well, let’s just say there have been some misfires. It’s the ultimate “underthing conundrum.” Lingerie makes for a thoughtful gift for special occasions like Valentine’s Day, but how do guys buy something of such a delicate matter?

Enter M By Naja—an undergarment gifting service for men. Yes, it’s a lingerie concierge (how brilliant!). Catalina Girald founded Naja, the company that offers the service, with a clear vision: to empower women through lingerie and create a culture where women help each other. The collection is designed for smart, courageous, and sexy women and I think it’s rather amazing. So, just in time for Valentine’s Day, I scored some fantastic lingerie buying tips from Girald. Hey gentlemen: Print this out, put it in your wallet, and thank me later. Girald really knows her stuff so you might want to take her expert advice below.

Get it straight: Let’s start by clearing up a misunderstanding that will make it easier to buy lingerie. Many people think the word “lingerie” means revealing underthings. No, no, no. Lingerie, according to the people who invented the word (the French), means sous-vêtements—a pretty little word for plain ol’ underwear. So once we understand that your partner considers lingerie to be anything from a pair of cotton Hanes to a stringy little thing, the process of shopping becomes much easier.

Set the scene: You have an idea of what you like for lingerie. So does she. Those two ideas are probably very different. But don’t directly ask her what she wants. The whole point of giving lingerie is putting thought into choosing the pieces and surprising her with the gift.

Snag her size on the sly: Go through her underwear drawer and check the tags! Or better yet, pick up her lingerie off the floor when she’s in the shower, check the tags, and then set it nicely (not in a ball) on the bed or a chair. You’ll not only get her size, but you’ll seem thoughtful for picking it up and setting it nicely somewhere.

Consider the cut: When buying panties, pay attention to cut. Does she wear thongs or briefs? Some women prefer briefs to thongs and some women only wear thongs. So if you haven’t seen her in a thong, don’t buy her a thong. When buying lace, try to stick to nylon and nylon-elastane blends instead of polyester. Polyester is scratchy, although it has longer wear. When buying cotton, try to buy Peruvian Pima cotton, like Naja’s hand-harvested Peruvian Pima cotton. It is so much softer than regular cotton and she’ll note the difference.

Think bra-velous: When buying a bra, does your partner like underwire or no wire? Does she wear unlined bras, push-ups, or lightly padded bras? If you don’t have access to her underwear drawer, then use the fruit comparison test to estimate the correct size and volume.
Tangerines – A cup (or smaller). You’re safe with no underwire and can safely go with push-up bras.
Apples – Probably a B cup. If they are perky, then you are safe with no underwire and can safely choose push-ups bras.
Oranges or grapefruits – Try a C cup. Definitely stick to underwire.
Small watermelons – Probably a D or DD. As a general rule, the larger the fruit, the less padding and the more underwire support she’ll need.

Reconsider red: Stores like to market red and pink for Valentine’s Day, but the reality is, red and bright pink are hard to wear under most colors of clothes. Your partner will appreciate a color palette that is similar to what she already wears. Pay attention—is it colorful or does she stick to neutrals? If she wears color, then go for it! If not, then buy her neutrals but try to give her something with a little more flair—maybe it has print on the inside or maybe you choose a interesting cut—like a high-waisted top.

Spend wisely: The good news is that you don’t need to spend a fortune to buy good-quality lingerie. While you’re unlikely to find a high quality bra for under $45 or great panties for under $12, many brands do mark up their stuff by a ton. So unless your picks have a lot of delicate embroidery or French lace made in traditional looms you don’t need to spend an excessive amount of money.

Keep it classy: Don’t buy crotchless underwear, anything that’s described with the words “spank” or “peek-a-boo” or that involves stickers, or anything one might see in a strip show. If you want her to wear it often, choose materials that are soft and comfortable. Pay attention to what she wears now. Some women don’t like lace so if you haven’t seen her wear it, stay away.

Buyer beware: eBay is not your friend here. Neither is Amazon. Offline, try a specialty lingerie boutique where the sales person can help you out. If you are trying to impress her, stay away from the mainstream brands like Victoria’s Secret and branch out to something she’s never heard of. Wherever you go, lingerie is one of those gifts that requires delicate gift wrapping. Don’t forget the card.

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Sexy, Figure-Flattering Lingerie for Every Body Type

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Sexy, Figure-Flattering Lingerie for Every Body Type

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By Laura Berman, PhD

Published Jan 29, 2014

YOUR REACTION?

The world is full of sexy, beautiful, alluring undergarments made for women of all shapes and sizes.

Have you ever wanted to go lingerie shopping, but felt intimidated by all of the billboards and magazine ads showing perfectly-proportioned underwear models with glowing skin, gravity-defying breasts, and legs that seem to go on forever? If so, you’re not alone.

Sometimes it’s hard to feel sexy in a society that’s routinely pumping out articles showcasing the “best” and “worst” celebrity beach bodies. But while many women are wistfully looking at actresses and advertisements, feeling hopelessly inadequate, they often fail to notice the attentions of the men who think they’re irresistibly sexy just the way they are — their partners.

Your guy thinks you’re sexy! If the fact that he chose you, out of all the women in the world, isn’t convincing enough, consider this: Studies have shown that men find a wide variety of women’s figures attractive. In many cases, it doesn’t matter if you’re slender or full-figured, short or tall, petite or big-boned. Men are drawn to a body that is feminine. And if you’re a woman, chances are, you’ve got that already! While it might seem like the most obvious reason to wear lingerie is to please your partner, there’s a lot to be said for how the right undergarments make you feel about yourself.

Swapping out your usual high-waisted cotton briefs for something sexy and flattering can make you feel daring, sensual, and provocative, like you’re going through the motions of your day, all the while carrying a racy secret that only your partner can find out, if he’s lucky! Really, it’s amazing what the right piece of lingerie can do. It can turn what once felt like flab into a sensuous curve, or create sensuous curves where you felt like you previously had none at all!

It’s worth knowing that the lingerie market sells items for every conceivable body type, which — while definitely a good thing — can make shopping frustrating and even disheartening if you don’t know what you’re looking for. Naturally, some lingerie will complement your figure far better than others. So, when heading for the dressing rooms, here are some helpful tips to keep in mind.

Wear your size. Squeezing into a size 8 — knowing you’re a size 12 — will not make you look like a size 8. The foremost trick to being attractive is being confident. And the first trick to finding flattering lingerie is choosing something that fits correctly. When your clothes come off, the last thing your partner will be looking at is whether your tag reads S, M, or L!

Another helpful tip: If you’re in a lingerie shop or boutique, ask a customer service rep to measure your bust size. You’d be amazed at how many women wear the wrong bra size and have no idea!

Be strategic. Instead of choosing lingerie that you think he’ll like, pick items that make you feel sexy. After all, it’s not the lingerie alone that heats things up — it’s the attitude you bring with it! When shopping, choose items that draw emphasis to the parts of your body you love, and play down the parts that make you feel self-conscious.

• If you want to accentuate your breasts, try a bra with an underwire or padding for extra lift and support.
• If you want to draw attention to your legs, pick out a sexy garter belt, stockings, and a come-hither pair of heels.
• If you want to show off va-va-voom hips, go for a corset, waist cincher, or bustier. These are also great for shrinking your waist and minimizing your belly! To make hips stand out, you can also choose panties with an extra helping of frills.
• To draw attention away from your hips, wear a long, flowing gown of silk or satin. The material should hit your hips and then fall sexily to the floor, thereby not clinging to anything that might make you self-conscious.
• To flaunt your bottom, try out a thong, a G-string, or a pair of boy shorts. There’s no “right” choice, other than what feels right to you.

Have the right mindset. So many women look in the mirror and think, “If only”: If only I were taller. If only I had longer legs. If only I had larger breasts. If only I were 20 pounds lighter. To find items that make you feel like a goddess, you must see yourself as a goddess.

Whether or not you plan to change your body over time, while you’re shopping for lingerie, you want to focus on what makes you look and feel sexy right now. Neglecting to do this will set you up for dressing room defeat. If you accept your body and recognize it for what makes it beautiful, you’ll be able to make undergarment shopping decisions that you can go home feeling elated about.

If you’ve been married for 10 years and feel silly about suddenly donning something slinky, lacy, and risqué, trust me: He won’t mind. Regarding your body as something enticing and erotic, capable of giving and receiving pleasure, will bring zest and gratification to your sex life that you may have never even noticed was missing! But you’ll sure know it once you have it back.

So if you’re one of many women who have lingerie-shopping phobia, it’s time to ditch your insecurities, embrace your body, and pick up a little something sexy that’ll make you feel as attractive as you really are!

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