Breaking Brad: Lingerie Football League and Musburger a good match – Omaha World

Brad Dickson’s humor column, “Breaking Brad” appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad’s afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning edition.

* There is rare heavy snow in parts of Southern California. To deal with it, officials there are planning to consult with snow-removal experts. For some reason I’m guessing the Omaha Public Works Department won’t be getting a call.

* It’s been a crazy week. If you saw an incredibly long line in Council Bluffs, you couldn’t be sure it was for flu shots or bottled water.

* As a result of that huge water-main break in Council Bluffs a 50-foot crater opened up at the intersection. If it was Omaha, road crews would put up a sign reading “Dip” and fix it in June.

* In Lincoln, a man crashed his Honda through the entrance of a Valentino’s restaurant. Thank goodness the impact was cushioned when the car landed on 5 tons of cheese.

* Bill Clinton is going to receive a Father of the Year award from the Father’s Day/Mother’s Day Council. I never pictured Bill Clinton as Father of the Year. Uncle of the Year, maybe.

* Frankly, I’d had been less surprised if Pauly Shore had received a Best Actor nomination on Thursday.

* ABC news correspondent Jake Tapper left for CNN. His biggest adjustment in going to CNN: not having any viewers.

* Tapper is learning how different it is to work at CNN, where correspondents are encouraged to burst into fits of laughter after reporting on the latest GOP policy proposals.

* An Omaha woman just appeared on “Let’s Make A Deal,” where you dress in weird costumes to get attention. It’s sort of like any road race in Omaha.

* A Denny’s restaurant in Las Vegas featuring a wedding chapel has opened. At the first wedding, the bride’s mother was sobbing. They weren’t tears of joy; she was distraught her daughter was getting married at Denny’s.

* A bird at a Chinese zoo has been shouting profanities at visitors. I realize I may be a minority of one, but I’d rather see this bird than the new lion cubs at the Henry Doorly Zoo.

* San Diego State may be backing out of its commitment to join the Big East. I’m guessing this has something to do with the chancellor waking up one morning and going: “We live in San Diego and we’re going to the Big East? Are we insane?”

* The Philadelphia Eagles have interviewed potential new coaches Chip Kelly and Brian Kelly. Sounds like they’ve decided what they want in a coach – someone named Kelly.

* The Lingerie Football League just signed a new play-by-play man. It’s Brent Musburger, who said he’s willing to work for free.

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Lingerie Football League changes name; players to wear uniforms

The favorite football league of many desperate and lonely men is no more. The Lingerie Football League has announced plans to rename itself the Legends Football League and said it will no longer have its players compete while wearing lingerie.

“This is the next step in the maturation of our now global sport. While the Lingerie Football League name has drawn great media attention allowing us to showcase the sport to millions, we have now reached a crossroad of gaining credibility as a sport or continuing to be viewed as a gimmick,” said Mitchell S. Mortaza, the founder of the league.

“In the coming years we will further establish this sport in the U.S., Australia, Europe and Asia as the most known form of American football globally. In order to reach the next milestone, we feel the focus has to be the sport and our amazing athletes.”

Other changes include redesigned team logos that remove “sexy female figures” and changing their slogan from “True Fantasy Football” to “Women of the Gridiron.”

But how much has the league really changed? The league also posted a promotional video on its website featuring players working out in very revealing gear. So, not everything has changed.

ALSO:

Tim Tebow won’t play for Jaguars next season

Rob Chudzinski is hired to coach the Cleveland Browns

Pittsburgh Steelers put Chris Rainey on waiver after his arrest

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