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These Pregnancy Photos Are So Awkward They’ll Make Your Water Break

August 12, 2014 by  
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These Pregnancy Photos Are So Awkward They'll Make Your Water Break

Pregnancy photos, like wedding photos, prom pictures and those awesome shots that you and friends took at the mall in high school can (and this is the operative word) be awesome*. But they can also be as awkward as wearing a leather vest in the sixth grade and thinking it looks awesome. That is to say, painfully, painfully awkward.

Sad and Useless (which is both a website and my mother’s pet name for me) has put together a compendium of some of the best, most awkward pregnancy photos known to man and the results are stunning. Bustiers and lingerie are one thing, but it’s when you start bringing blown-up condoms, pistols and just the saddest expressions in the world into these photographic works of art that the magic really happens.

For instance, take this classically composed photo that’s a tribute to both the great outdoors and also a handy reminder to duck and cover if there’s an earthquake. Also if The Blair Witch shows up. Actually, a Blair Witch themed photoshoot sounds pretty good. Also: Welcome to Pawnee, where the latest fashions come from a 1992-era ClothesTimes.

These Pregnancy Photos Are So Awkward They'll Make Your Water Break

A delightful diptych of WTF if I have ever seen one. To the left, cave people who have just discovered fire, eyeliner and Bernadette Peters’ style from Slaves of New York. On the right, some kind of frightening sausage link monster you do not want for breakfast or any other meal. (I get that it’s supposed to be a reindeer but this is just an example of what a mistake themed photos are. I once had this amazing idea of christmas cards featuring me and the Auroa Borealis. I purchased 50 and sent 5. Only to people I had to.)

These Pregnancy Photos Are So Awkward They'll Make Your Water Break

WHY? Is the person on the right pooping? Is the family on the left passive-aggressively showing off their disappointment that they’re going to have another child? The kid you already have is adorable! He knows how to spell baby!

These Pregnancy Photos Are So Awkward They'll Make Your Water Break

Shhh, no more words. Just fruit and guns.

These Pregnancy Photos Are So Awkward They'll Make Your Water Break

You can view the whole collection here, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. The condom picture is in there.

*Thing I did. I also had a denim vest.

Images via Sad and Useless

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Oh La La! Britney Spears shows off fit physique in shorts and strapless top as …

August 12, 2014 by  
Filed under Lingerie Events

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By
Alanna Lynott For Mailonline

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She appeared to have been heavily airbrushed in a new ad campaign for her lingerie line.

But Britney Spears didn’t seem in any need of retouching when she stepped out in Calabasas, California on Monday.

The 32-year-old looked fit and lean in a pair of black shorts and a strapless coral sun top featuring
a flirty, flowy bodice with white striped design. 

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Leggy lady! Britney Spears showed off her fit physique in shorts and a strapless sun top in Calabasas, California on Monday

Leggy lady! Britney Spears showed off her fit physique in shorts and a strapless sun top in Calabasas, California on Monday

Her shapely legs were given a flattering lift in a pair of sky-high strappy tan cork heels, showing off the results of her current high-energy Las Vegas show, Britney: Piece Of Me.

Clutching her phone to her ear and with an iced drink in her hand, the mother-of-two smiled and laughed as she walked.

The pop star may have been looking cheerful after yet another raw track surfaced on the internet, though this time garnering a less damning verdict than the previous one.

A version of Work B***h, without auto tune, hit the internet on Monday and, while it certainly sounds different from the released track, it is significantly better than the unedited version of her 2013 song Alien, which was panned when it surfaced in July.

Perfect pins: The mother-of-two was looking slim and trim, no doubt thanks to her Britney: Piece Of Me Planet Hollywood, Las Vegas residency, which is revered for its high-energy dance numbers

Perfect pins: The mother-of-two was looking slim and trim, no doubt thanks to her Britney: Piece Of Me Planet Hollywood, Las Vegas residency, which is revered for its high-energy dance numbers

Perfect pins: The mother-of-two was looking slim and trim, no doubt thanks to her Britney: Piece Of Me Planet Hollywood, Las Vegas residency, which is revered for its high-energy dance numbers

Toned and tanned: The Work B***h singer clutched an iced drink in one hand and her phone in the other as she showed off her muscle definition during an outing on the hot summer's day

Toned and tanned: The Work B***h singer clutched an iced drink in one hand and her phone in the other as she showed off her muscle definition during an outing on the hot summer’s day

However, Britney didn’t find herself under fire from all quarters, with her Crossroads co-star Zoe Saldana leaping to her defence during an appearance on Watch What Happens Live.

‘She was the one big, big celebrity that I met when I was starting to work in Hollywood who literally
was humble,’ the pregnant 36-year-old told host Andy Cohen.

Zoe gushed about having a ‘huge amount of respect for Britney Spears’.

‘I do believe that people and children gravitate to good energy, and she’s definitely an abundance of that,’ the Guardians Of The Galaxy star added.

‘Truly the sweetest, thx 4 the kind words. Nothing but great memories of working w u. Crossroads pt 2? ;),’ the hitmaker tweeted Saldana afterwards.

Smiling through it: The 32-year-old came under attack recently after a version of her 2013 song Alien surfaced sans auto-tune, followed by a slightly better raw track of Work B***h

Smiling through it: The 32-year-old came under attack recently after a version of her 2013 song Alien surfaced sans auto-tune, followed by a slightly better raw track of Work B***h

Paying off! All the pop star's hard work has been paying off if the latest promotional image if her Intimate Britney Spears collection is anything to go by

Paying off! All the pop star’s hard work has been paying off if the latest promotional image if her Intimate Britney Spears collection is anything to go by


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