Is Celibacy The New Trend?
July 29, 2012 by admin
Filed under Choosing Lingerie
But they are not the only ones; Nadya ‘Octomom’ Suleman has also said that she will remain celibate until all her children have turned 18, despite rumours of her being in a relationship with a young bodybuilder.
The ‘Ultimate College Girl Survey’ conducted by HerCampus.com showed that most girls are choosing to remain celibate in a relationship until they are 18, so why are so many people choosing celibacy?
Celibacy has been traditionally used throughout religion, but it seems that it is starting to ease its way into popular culture.
Dr Stocchi of HarleyStreetPsychology.com says, “Apart from the religious focused reasons behind celibacy the question remains: what are the pros and cons in making a decision to be celibate especially when this has become a growing trend in current society?”
Something that Dr Stocchi calls ‘temporary celibacy’ is essential for a relationships as it allows for you both to get to know each other and discover how you can relate to one another.
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Dr Stocchi says, “The parties involved will learn to grow and develop together without the need for discharging this sexuality immediately but yet maintaining the sexual energy and chargedness to the point where the inevitable will follow when both parties choose to do so.
“This ‘temporary celibacy’ allows for a greater degree of intimacy to be reached between the couple as trust is a vital foundation for any relationship. This will eventually feed into developing a wonderful sexual relationship which is essential for any relationship to function fully.”
A problem with celibacy is that it can lead to feelings of great anxiety and a lack of self-worth.
Dr Stocchi says, “My immediate concern lies with the choice of being completely celibate, as this is often the inverse reaction to someone being sexually charged in a relationship and realising that the relationship was founded on sex hence becoming the primary meaning rather than the other aspects between two individuals.”
People will often feel as though they need to stop having sex altogether in order to build the relationship on other foundations, but it seems as though a healthy balance is the best course of action.
“A more beneficial outlook in my opinion is to take a balanced stance towards sex,” says Dr Stocchi.
“Don’t cut yourself off completely from sharing such an intimate and vital part of yourself.”
Have you ever tried going cold turkey from sex? Comment below or tweet us @FemaleFirst_UK.
Cara Mason
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Garcelle Beauvais Opens Up About Marriage Split Shock
July 29, 2012 by admin
Filed under Choosing Lingerie
Garcelle Beauvais enrolled in therapy sessions after discovering her husband cheated on her in a bid to find the “courage” to cope with her divorce.
The former NYPD Blue star was left blindsided in 2010 after discovering Michael Nilon, her husband of nearly nine years, had had an affair, and she fired off an angry email about his infidelity to his colleagues and associates.
Their divorce was finalised last year, and Beauvais has now opened up about her heartache in a blog for People.com – revealing she had no idea her longtime partner had cheated until she discovered an incriminating text message on his phone.
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She writes, “In 2010, I had everything I had always wanted. I had been happily married to my husband for nearly a decade. I was watching an entertainment show about Sandra Bullock and her unfaithful husband, and I thought, ‘How did she not know?’ Well, it happens. In fact, it happened to me. And I had absolutely no idea.”
“You see, I thought I had won the lotto in husbands. Caring? Check. Attentive? Check. Loyal? Well, un-check. It only took one text message to change my life. That’s when I discovered my loving husband had been unfaithful. His infidelities ended our marriage.”
“The shock was like a freight train hitting me. The pain was unimaginable. I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to exit my body like a character in a cartoon. I had so many questions. What happens next? Do I stay for the sake of the kids? Do I stay because, well, that’s what some women do? And oh my God, what do I do with all of this anger?”
Beauvais decided to part ways with Nilon, but the former couple is now on good terms for the sake of their four-year-old twin sons.
She adds, “With the help of therapy, time and some books that gave me the courage to face my pain, I found a way to cope with my divorce. More importantly, my ex and I put our love for our children above everything else. We have even come to a place where we can hang out together with our boys to make sure they have a solid, stable upbringing.”
“It hasn’t been easy… and I admit that at first, my rage threatened to break my spirit. You may have heard about the angry email I fired off to some of his colleagues and friends of ours. (I did it hours after I found out the truth, and I never expected it to leak to the press. But in the digital age, I guess nothing is private. Lesson learned.)”
“Adultery is the ultimate deal-breaker for me. I would rather be alone than in a relationship that doesn’t honour me. First, I had to mourn for the marriage I thought I had. I had to forgive him, but I also had to absolve myself for not seeing the warning signs; for choosing this man. Achieving forgiveness lifted an enormous weight off of my shoulders. It made me light in the best way.”
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