Tamika D. Mallory: Get Out of People’s Bedrooms, Please

When I was 16 years old, I wanted to be a computer graphics designer. Day and night, that’s all I literally dreamed about. Fast-forward a year or two and then came the preoccupation with boys. Not straight-laced serious boys, but bad boys. A few years after that, I was on to the next thing. Computer Graphics became a dream of the past. I changed my mind about my life a dozen times before choosing to dedicate my life to civil rights activism. And by the way, I eventually grew out of the “bad boy” mentality. Today, I’m dating one of them most successful businessmen in the country. The point is, “ish” changes.

Over 30 years ago, Chirlane McCray, wife of NYC Public Advocate Bill de Blasio, wrote a cover story for Essence Magazine where she said she was a lesbian. She’s now married to one of the most respected public advocates NYC has ever had and is mother to their two children. News flash: “ish” changes.

But why do we even care what goes on in people’s bedrooms?

Throughout this summer and in the weeks leading up to the presidential election, I often wrote and spoke about the continuing war on women. Whether it was contraception, our roles in society or our sexuality, women were under assault time and again. Didn’t those who were constantly throwing females under the bus learn anything from the election? Why do people feel the need to discuss what Chirlane’s sexual preferences are or what kind of marriage she and de Blasio have? For crying out loud, it’s almost 2013!

When Chirlane wrote her Essence story in ’79, it was a bold and daring move, to say the least. At a time when women were still heavily fighting for equality, she went there when many were afraid. For people to attack her or question her marriage now is nothing more than a cheap shot. In a column in the New York Post, writer Andrea Peyser said, “Lesbians don’t simply get cured, as if homosexuality were a temporary disease. Someone (de Blasio? McCray? Both?) isn’t being honest.” And cartoonist Sean Delonas (who previously depicted President Obama as a chimp), drew de Blasio in lingerie next to Chirlane in bed who was on the phone saying “I was a lesbian, but my husband, Bill de Blasio, won me over.” The Post and its contributors should be ashamed. By the way, Ms. Peyser now claims her words were misrepresented. Well Ms. Peyser, why the heck did you write about it in the first place?

What I am saying is that people’s personal lives should not be on the table unless they are sleeping with children or violating others. As long as their spouse or partner is cool with whatever it is, mind your damn business. Instead of criticizing a person’s track record or views on issues, some will stoop so low as to attack their spouses and try to disparage their character in the most disrespectful way. Who cares what a person’s sexuality is or who they are sleeping with, as long as they get the job done that they were elected to do.

The Supreme Court is set to hear two major cases on same-sex marriage in the near future. When bisexuality is so commonplace, as are gay/lesbian relationships, our laws still need to catch up. And so do the minds of some writers, cartoonists and publishers. Everybody needs to relax and get over it. Criticize people on the merits, not on what may or may not be going down in their bedrooms. GET A LIFE!!!! “Ish” changes!

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12-12-12 a reason for weddings, babies in Sonoma County

They were partial of a widespread rush to a altar, matrimony chapel or county clerk’s bureau on 12/12/12, a final date with triple relating numbers in this century.

In relating brownish-red cowboy boots with flower leis around their necks, a Santa Rosa integrate pronounced their “I do’s” during an eight-minute polite rite and afterwards kissed, capping a three-month courtship that began in Sep when they were introduced by friends.

“We’re not removing any younger,” pronounced Larsen, 72, a write tech for a city of San Francisco. “We wish to spend all a time together.”

Friends called theirs a “whirlwind” romance, though Bonserio, a 55-year-old dog trainer, had a elementary explanation.

“When we know, we know,” she said.

They were among a 32 couples married Wednesday in a solid tide of ceremonies conducted by a clerk’s office. A week earlier, only dual weddings were conducted and on Tuesday 3 couples pronounced their vows.

Wednesday’s rush was a spike in matrimony ceremonies during a clerk’s office, though distant subsequent a record of 63 marriages conducted Aug. 8, 2008 (8/8/08), pronounced Deva Proto, an researcher in a county Clerk-Recorder-Assessor’s Office.

That date was doubly portentous since 8 is a propitious series in Chinese enlightenment — a Summer Olympics in Beijing began on 8/8/08 during 8 mins and 8 seconds past 8 p.m. internal time — and Aug. 8 fell during a 6 months when same-sex matrimony was authorised in California.

David’s Bridal, a inhabitant spousal retailer, estimated 7,500 couples opposite a United States would tie a tangle Wednesday, a outrageous boost over final year, when only 485 pairs married on 12/12/11, a Huffington Post reported.

Wedding chapels in Las Vegas were awaiting a large day formed on 3 prior booms that occurred when a calendar aligned. County officials in Las Vegas released 4,333 matrimony licenses only before 7/7/07, 3,090 licenses before 10/10/10 and 3,342 before 11/11/11, a New York Times reported.

Diane and William Frenzel of Santa Rosa indifferent a midday matrimony container during a clerk’s bureau a month ago.

“We suspicion it was neat,” she said.

Diane, 46, and William, 52, met on Facebook a year and a half ago and “clicked right away,” she said.

They were observant their vows during 12 seconds after 12 noon and afterwards were streamer for a review among a North Coast redwoods for a integrate of days.

Bonserio pronounced they had hoped to start their rite during 12:12 p.m., though things ran a bit late. The integrate comparison their matrimony date formed on practicality, not numerology.

“We won’t forget a anniversary,” she said.

She and Larsen will spend a few days in San Francisco this week, afterwards devise to honeymoon in Italy in a spring.

Meanwhile, Erica Wetterstrom, 28, and Jeff Merbs, 32, of Gualala welcomed their second child — an 8-pound, 2-ounce child — during 12:41 p.m. Wednesday during Santa Rosa Memorial Hospital.

“The date is flattering cool,” Wetterstrom said, acknowledging she and her fiance some-more or reduction directed for a Dec. 12 arrival.

Doctors prompted labor Tuesday night for medical reasons, she said.

Memorial had one other birth Wednesday.

Four babies arrived Wednesday during Santa Rosa’s Sutter Medical Center, and a fifth was due by cesarean section, sanatorium mouthpiece Lisa Amador said.

Petaluma Valley Hospital reported dual births, with a third due before midnight.

The subsequent day with triple relating numbers is Jan. 1, 2101, a small some-more than 88 years away.

But those who wish to get hitched or give birth on a noted date could cruise subsequent Nov. 12, that is 11/12/13.

You can strech Staff Writer Guy Kovner during 521-5457 or guy.kovner@pressdemocrat.com.

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