HerCampus is not mine

The only word I can think of to describe how I feel when I read HerCampus Duke’s articles is schadenfreude. For your convenience, I’ve compiled all that I’ve learned this semester from their tips on how to be a well-adjusted Duke woman.

Tip One: You can’t just go to the gym.

If you’re struggling to get to the gym, then “looking good,” can be your “motivating factor.” And by looking good, HerCampus doesn’t mean accruing the increased musculature from working out—they mean that being attractive WHILE working out “is not an opportunity you should pass up.” Especially since the gym is where people go to “see and be seen.” So throw on some waterproof eyeliner, mascara and Lancôme concealer to look “natural, but still put together.” Moreover, make sure you don’t get “too matchy-matchy,” by wearing pink on pink or, Hashem-forbid, black on black. After all, the idea is to “look effortless, not to be lazy.”

Tip Two: You can’t just go to the library during finals.

Without protein bars, tinted moisturizer, cream eye shadow or makeup remover wipes. Keep those items “24/7 in a grab bag” when you’re heading to Perkins.

Tip Three: Going to Shooters when you have a midterm is not off the table.

If you are incredibly indecisive like I am and gotta get down before your exam on Friday, than HerCampus can help you think through your options with their helpful, “So I Have a Midterm on Friday, Should I Skip Wednesday Night Shooters?” think-piece.

Tip Four: The 40 percent rule is generally key.

On Halloween, “it may be tempting to bare it all (we’re proud of our bodies!)” but one must ensure the level of exposed skin is appropriate. “It’s been proven” (By whom? Nate Silver?) that “guys respond positively to a 40 percent level of exposed skin,” so “skip the lingerie” and “invest in a catsuit” instead. Because nothing says empowerment more than choosing to go as Cat Woman rather than Hefner’s latest wife. Not just because Cat Woman is so stealthy, but because if you bare more than 40 percent of your skin, “you risk looking like a tramp.” (As you must be already able to tell, I’m abiding by the quote-40-percent-of-their-content rule.)

Tip Five: There are very, very few boys left to choose from.

So few, in fact, that HerCampus turned me on to the possibility of dating my best friend (“How Close is Too Close: Would you Date Your Best Friend?”). Unfortunately, my best male friend isn’t attracted to women, but HerCampus didn’t think to include that in their analysis. Alternately, I could dare to go for that frat boy, Floyd, who “discussed feminism with me in a positive manner.” But beware of the “perils of crushing on frat boys, even the ‘good ones,’” so when I find Floyd inevitably making out with “some chick,” I can chalk it all up to his “intrinsic take-all mentality.” It’s slim pickings out there, but rest assured that somewhere exists the “mythical non-frat-boy frat boy.”

Tip Six: Give the “Nepali” in your friend’s education class a chance, because she or he might just have an awesome story.

College is about making “lifelong friends,” and “broadening our horizons,” so you’d be missing out if you’re not at least, like, aware of those people outside of your sorority whose families subsist off of $1 a week. Once Recruitment is over “it becomes infinitely harder yet easier to make friends,” so wait until February to reach out to them.

Tip Seven: Don’t report sexual assault.

“Males in our age bracket just have a higher sex drive than we do,” reads one article. “Just because you go with a boy to his formal, it doesn’t mean you’re obligated to hookup with him, right? In theory, this should be true, but he’s paid for your transportation/meal/hotel room and we live in a barter society.” Given that we’re told we have to barter our bodies if invited, “it shouldn’t be surprising that roughly 25 percent of girls at Duke experience sexual assault,” because “these boys tend to be more experienced or may have greater expectations when it comes to sex.” But “by no means should you report every incident that makes you feel guilty as a ‘sexual assault,’ either. We all remember what happened in the lacrosse scandal.”

Tip Eight: “Define your OWN ‘Duke scene.’”

Even though I emerge from every HerCampus article convinced that “much of our school’s social scene consists of frat parties and Saturday night Shooters,” (perhaps perpetuated by the presence of Shooters in every piece), it’s entirely possible to “disregard what some people say and define our school by your own terms.” Though that advice came from the electrifying post “How to Thrive as a Taken Woman in the ‘Duke Scene,’” I’m going to take these pearls of wisdom, since they’re so fungible, and apply them to my life.

Tip Nine: Ignore everything they just told you.

Because in the article “Dear Freshmen Girls,” they tell women to, please, not “feel like you have to fit a certain mold,” “work out every day” or “dress up to go to the library.” Especially since there’s no “cookie cutter mold of a ‘Duke woman.’”

Samantha Lachman is a Trinity senior. This is her last regular column of the semester.

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Most Controversial Celebrity Couples Of 2012 (PHOTOS)

Breakups, make-ups, cheating, divorce and usually plain uncanny pairings — 2012 had it all when it comes to luminary couples.

We do a best to keep tabs on Hollywood’s romances, though there were a few relations that lifted eyebrows and left us observant “huh?” or simply exhausted.

Check out a many argumentative luminary relations of 2012:

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• Mary-Kate Olsen Olivier Sarkozy

  Mary-Kate Olsen is a 26-year-old billionaire who is entitled to date whoever she wants. We usually don’t know her ambience in men.

  Photos of a former child star a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/11/mary-kate-olsen–olivier-sarkozy-boyfriend-photos-pictures_n_2113784.html”getting friendly with her beloved Olivier Sarkozy, 42, (who looks most older) during a New Yorks Knicks diversion in Nov strike a web /aand everybody was usually creeped out. Sarkozy looks approach too most like he could be her father for us to be gentle with this relationship.

  The photos went viral and we’re still creeped out each time we see them.

• Hugh Hefner, Crystal Harris

  Now we ain’t observant she’s a bullion digger, though Crystal Harris, 26, motionless she she’s now a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/04/hugh-hefner-crystal-harris-marriage-license-wedding_n_2240752.html”ready to tie a tangle /awith Hugh Hefner,86.

  The integrate were initial intent in 2010, though a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/14/hugh-hefner-crystal-harri_0_n_876752.html”called a matrimony off in Jun 2011./a The attribute wasn’t over however, as a 26-year-old Playboy indication changed behind into a Playboy palace progressing this year.

  The integrate are critical about removing married and recently performed a matrimony permit and are formulation to tie a tangle on New Year’s Eve.

• Liam Hemsworth Miley Cyrus

  News that Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus were intent caused utterly a hum this year.

  Hemsworth, 22, a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/06/miley-cyrus-engaged-liam-hemsworth_n_1573343.html”proposed to Cyrus, afterwards 19, in June/a after dating for scarcely 3 years.

  Many voiced doubts that removing married so immature would be a good idea, though their families seem to support it.

  “The categorical thing for me is that both of them are happy. Miley’s worked unequivocally hard, and I’m enjoying right now saying her so happy,” a singer’s father, a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/19/billy-ray-cyrus-miley-cyrus-engaged-liam-hemsworth_n_1986089.html”Billy Ray Cyrus, told “Entertainment Tonight Canada.”/a

• Heidi Klum Seal

  Heidi Klum and Seal astounded everybody when they announced their subdivision in Jan 2012.

  After scarcely 7 years of matrimony it was time to call it quits, and a divorce has valid to be a a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/29/heidi-klum-seal-divorce-getting-messy_n_1840224.html”bitter disaster/a. Klum strictly a href=”http://www.tmz.com/2012/04/06/heidi-klum-seal-divorce/”filed for divorce in Apr 2012/a, and began a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/12/heidi-klum-seal-divorce-w_n_1878380.html”dating her physique guard. /a

  Seal wasn’t happy that his soon-to-be ex had changed on before a divorce was finalized, and unleashed a a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/02/heidi-klum-seal-divorce-cheated-bodyguard-martin-kristen_n_1850379.html”now-infamous diatribe to TMZ /ain that he pronounced he wished that Klum had waited until they were distant before determining to “fornicate with a help.”

• Rihanna Chris Brown

  Rihanna separate from Chris Brown behind in 2009 after a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/09/rihanna-bloodied-beaten-b_n_165474.html”he brutally assaulted her/a, though she appears to have some-more than forgiven him.

  All year we’ve been a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/06/rihanna-chris-brown-relationship-oprah-winfrey_n_1945159.html”hearing reports/a that a dual have beena href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/03/rihanna-chris-brown-back-together-kissing-new-york-city-club-bathroom-_n_1936245.html” personally saying /aone another, and a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/25/rihanna-chris-brown-together-tweets-photo-shirtless-brown-in-bed_n_2188510.html”now things aren’t so secret./a Love is difficult though their apparent settlement has left many with a bad feeling.

• Taylor Swift Conor Kennedy

  Taylor Swift’s brief intrigue with Conor Kennedy lifted an eyebrow or dual this past summer.

  Critics wondered because a a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/25/rihanna-chris-brown-together-tweets-photo-shirtless-brown-in-bed_n_2188510.html”22-year-old luminary would have any seductiveness in dating an 18-year-old,/a who is usually a youth in high school. Well, his final name might have had something to do with it.

  Before a dual began dating, Swift had a href=”http://popdust.com/2012/10/15/taylor-swift-is-even-more-obsessed-with-the-kennedys-than-anyone-thought/”admitted she was spooky with a Kennedys,/a and we can’t assistance though consternation if she was usually perplexing to brush elbows with American royalty.

• Selena Gomez Justin Bieber

  Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez’s a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/09/justin-bieber-selena-gomez-break-up-teen-couple-call-it-quits_n_2106605.html”breakup /awasn’t so most argumentative as it was annoying. First they mangle up, afterwards they get behind together, afterwards she a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/20/justin-bieber-selena-gomez-dinner-date-couple-dine-benihana_n_2164901.html”storms out of a restaurant. /a

  After a integrate weeks of ups and down, we were exhausted, though all that play seems to have been value it, given “Jelena” has a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/19/justin-bieber-selena-gomez-back-on-couple-hang-out-american-music-awards_n_2159241.html”prevailed (for now). /a

• Evelyn Lozada Chad Johnson

  Chad Johnson’s divorce from “Basketball Wives” star Evelyn Lozada after usually a href=”http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20621087,00.html”41 days of marriage/a didn’t seem too surprising, though what led to a separate had everybody talking.

  The NFL actor a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/11/chad-johnson-arrested-head-butt-evelyn-lozada-report_n_1768973.html”reportedly head-butted his then-wife /ajust weeks after marriage.

  The far-reaching receiver was arrested after a occurrence and a href=”http://aol.sportingnews.com/nfl/story/2012-08-15/chad-johnson-cut-hard-knocks-video-miami-dolphins-coach-joe-philbin-awkward”his agreement with a Miami Dolphins was quickly terminated/a. The ex-couple finalized their divorce in Sep 2012.

• Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher

  After months of claiming they were “just friends,” Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher were a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/22/mila-kunis-ashton-kutcher-kissing-photo_n_1693530.html”spotted kissing/a and eventually gave adult on perplexing to fake they weren’t together.

  The former “That ’70s Show” co-stars bending adult after Kutcher separate with mother Demi Moore final year, and there have been a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/18/demi-moore-jealous-ashton-kutcher-mila-kunis-romance-dating_n_1979338.html”reports that Moore is nothing too happy about their romance. /a

• Halle Berry Olivier Martinez

  Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez are happily engaged, though Berry’s ex hasn’t done things easy for them.

  Gabriel Aubry was a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/10/halle-berry-custody-battle-court-rules-cant-move-to-france_n_2109082.html”able to get a decider to repudiate Berry’s ask to pierce to France /awith their daughter Nahla, though a control conflict continues.

  At Thanksgiving things got aroused when a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/22/gabriel-aubry-halle-berry_n_2176495.html”Aubry started a quarrel with Martinez. /a

• Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Rupert Sanders

  Kristen Stewart was held intrigue on Robert Pattinson with “Snow White and a Huntsman” executive Rupert Sanders and afterwards she a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/25/kristen-stewart-apologizes-cheating-robert-pattinson_n_1702836.html”publicly apologized for it. /a

  Stewart and Pattinson pennyless adult for a few weeks and a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/17/kristen-stewart-robert-pattinson-back-together-lunch-photo_n_1973219.html”reconciled usually in time for their world-wide press debate to foster /a”Breaking Dawn: Part 2.”

• Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison

  Doug Hutchison caused debate behind in 2011, a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/20/doug-hutchison-courtney-stodden_n_880964.html”when he married 16-year-old Courtney Stodden. /a

  The frosty blonde a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/29/courtney-stoddens-18th-birthday-teen-bride-photos_n_1836956.html”turned 18 in 2012/a, that creates their attribute usually somewhat reduction nauseating.

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