‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ lingerie line may be a joke played on ‘Victoria’s Secret’

A “Victoria’s Secret” line of lingerie inspired by the racy bestseller “Fifty Shades of Grey” sounds like a marketing dream. But news of the sexy new undies may be a comedic spoof. Will life imitate art?

Hilarious mommy blogger Mary Fischer of “The Stir” was all atwitter on Tuesday with an article announcing that the go-to lingerie design company was set to launch a FSoG-inspired line of undergarments early next year.

“OMG. Is this an absolutely genius move on the part of Victoria’s Secret or what?!?” writes Fischer. “Since it’s a place moms have been accustomed to shopping at for years without the slightest hint of shame or embarrassment, we’ll easily be able to select pieces from the new Fifty Shades of Grey line whenever we’re at the mall without feeling like we’re doing something trashy or out of the ordinary.”

That is actually something to get excited about. The “Fifty Shades of Grey” phenomenon has been upsetting the balance of sexual power between men and women all year, shifting inexorably to the ladies. There are even reports of women seeking divorce from husbands unwilling to catch the train.

But, sadly, a closer inspection of the Renier Palland article posted on “Celeb Dirty Laundry” on Monday, which inspired the hysteria, shows that the story is probably a joke.

After announcing the prospective new line of lingerie, there’s this startling piece of detail:

“The underwear, currently being tested on heterosexual men in laboratories in France, will be released globally early next year. Jean Foops, a developmental psychologist who is working alongside Victoria’s Secret, revealed in a recent interview, “We have achieved considerable success with recent psychological tests. We take a slice of the male demographic and place them into ‘viewing booths’. A female model then poses in the underwear – at a safe distance – and seduces the men with her erotic charm. If the man responds favourably towards the grey colour of the underwear, that colour is automatically included in our fifty shades. So far, we have also experienced excellent results from our placebo – a Bruce Jenner lookalike that pretends to seduce a tomato. Most of our test subjects haven’t picked up on this.”

Sorry ladies. It all seems to be a spoof. But, take heart.

A quick check of the “What’s New” page at “Victoria’s Secret” doesn’t mention any FSoG unmentionables. Still, how long can it be until the decision makers at VS wake up to the possibilities?

Mary Fischer may have her secret, sexy mommy moment at the mall after all come next Valentine’s Day.

The question is, will Mr. Fischer be talking to a lawyer by Easter?

What do you think? Is a “Fifty Shades of Grey” line of “Victoria’s Secret” lingerie a good idea?

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Pleasant Hill: Armed robber hits lingerie store, gives police the slip

PLEASANT HILL — A shotgun-toting robber held up a lingerie store and eluded a police search Tuesday evening, authorities said.

No one was injured. The robbery was reported at 8:17 p.m. at the Lingerie Etc. store at 2298 Monument Blvd.

The suspect walked into the store, pointed the shotgun at the employee and demanded money, reaching into the register and taking an unknown amount of cash.

The suspect was described as a Hispanic male in his mid-20s, 5’8″ to 5’10″ with a thin build, wearing a gray hooded sweatshirt, black pants and a bandanna covering his face.

He fled on foot, possibly running south toward Lisa Lane. Police from Concord brought a dog to assist in the search, but did not find the suspect.

There may be surveillance video of the robbery, according to police. Armed robbers have struck the store several times in the past, including twice in one week in January 2010.

Anyone with information about the robbery is asked to call Pleasant Hill police at 925-288-4630.

Contact Daniel M. Jimenez at djimenez@bayareanewsgroup.com. Follow him at Twitter.com/DMJreports.

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