Extraordinary ‘Boyhood’ finds living is in the details

Life is the small things. Two bullies in a school bathroom. Waving goodbye to a friend you?ll never see again as you move to another town. The dweeb from work who shows up at your graduation party.

Sure, there are big things, too. But most of ?Boyhood,? the transcendent film from director Richard Linklater, has to do with the smaller particles, the everyday moments and scares and joys.

That time your dad took you camping. Your first girlfriend and first breakup. The discovery of some vague carcass in the dirt. Your stepfather driving drunk, a 7-year-old ogling a lingerie magazine, your older sister driving you crazy with her Britney Spears impersonation.

Linklater has crafted what may be the most ingenious film of the century here and given it a tone like no other by shooting the movie in bits and pieces over 12 years, following 6-year-old Mason (Ellar Coltrane) as he grows to be 18.

The constants in his life are his older sister Samantha (Linklater?s daughter, Lorelei) and his struggling mother (Patricia Arquette). Dropping in sporadically at first and then more regularly is his dad (Ethan Hawke), a natural wanderer who loves the kids but is irresponsible.

It?s Mason?s life, but it?s also very much the life of a nomadic, broken family, especially through the film?s first half, where Arquette ? who shines throughout ? plays a desperate mother who decides to go back to school so she can eventually earn a decent living. There she meets and marries a professor (the chillingly real Marco Perella) with two kids of his own.

Their initial bliss turns ugly as alcohol takes over the professor?s life, and soon the family is unstable again. It?s a pattern that runs through the life of Mason?s mom, and thus it runs through his.

And yet time streams on. Mason endures a bad haircut and goes to a ball game with his always energetic dad and sister. The kids endure dad?s rambling but heartfelt admonitions about dating and sex. Time is measured out in woodsy walks and bike rides down suburban streets.

Yes, there are scenes that seem less than polished, line readings that occasionally go astray, but somehow these all blend nicely into Linklater?s umbrella of realism. Life is clumsy, improvised, brusque.

One of the film?s subtle wonders is how the script bends to real events that Linklater could not have prefigured. Here?s Mason dressed as Harry Potter, going to a midnight book release party; now his mom is dating an Iraq War veteran. The film doesn?t simply capture the characters, it follows the world they?re (we?re) living in.

But the characters do remain center stage, and as Mason grows, the camera settles on him more and more. Linklater was either lucky, blessed or both in choosing these kids because they grow in confidence as actors without ever pushing past the film?s naturalism.

The great beauty and yet the great sadness of the film is that it ends at what is Mason?s next beginning, his move to college, on the brink of manhood and more. Arquette has an outburst late on as she realizes her children are going on without her and everything suddenly feels so hollow.

But for Mason, and the audience, this life is really just getting starting. And we wish ?Boyhood? would go on and on and on.

‘Boyhood’

GRADE: A+

Opens Friday

Rated R for language including sexual references, and for teen drug and alcohol use

Running time: 165 minutes

?Boyhood? (R ) Director Richard Linklater?s transcendent film follows one boy (Ellar Coltrane) and his family over a 12-year period, age 6 to 18, in this wonderfully innovative work of American naturalism. Film doesn?t get better. (165 minutes) GRADE: A+

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5 Ways to Get the Sexy Back in Your Marriage

Have you heard the rumor that sex in marriage is boring? Well, that’s not the case in my 11-year marriage, and it doesn’t have to be for yours either. One of the beautiful things about being with the same partner for so long is you are able to explore each other’s bodies and its many changes over time.

Don’t settle for a ho-hum sex life in your marriage. Here are five quick ways to get your sexy back.

1. Hold that kiss just a little longer. If you’ve been married a while, you might be tempted to give your spouse a peck on the lips and continue on with your day. Instead of giving each other the obligatory “I love you” kiss, intentionally lock lips just a little longer. Science shows a passionate kiss releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter, causing your spouse to crave you like a drug. I can’t think of a better addiction than making love to my husband.

2. Give some vitamin F2 every day. Life coach Maggie Reyes, coined this term for the daily vitamin your marriage needs for perfect health. What is vitamin F2, you ask? A little bit of flirting and fun. Maggie says:

Think of marriage like a marathon — it’s long, you will get tired and you need the water of motivation to keep you going. Laughing together and keeping that spark of flirtatious love alive will add a little joy to every day — even the hard ones.

3. Get your flirt on. Send a sexy text suggesting what is in store for your spouse tonight. Stick a love note in her bag before she leaves for work. Flash him as he’s walking out the door so that visual stays with him until he sees you again. Foreplay should begin well before the lights are turned off.

4. Consider purchasing some lingerie. I’m the first one to admit that lingerie is not my thing. I find most of it too tight, too short, too itchy and too everything else. However, I have come to see the benefits of it when it comes to keeping the sexy in marriage. It took many years (ahem… eight to be exact) but I finally found some lingerie that serves as both eye candy to my husband and feels comfortable for me.

5. Play the hot and cold game. Over the years, what arouses you will change. Something that turned you on last month could very quickly turn you off this one. Stay calm… don’t panic. That doesn’t mean the spark is gone. It could simply mean it’s time for a new exploratory mission. Help your spouse explore your body and vice versa, by playing the “hot and cold” game. The rules are simple. When your spouse does something that feels great, say “hot!” You and your spouse both have body maps that lead to a land of great pleasure. Today is as good a day as any to begin rediscovering each other once again.

Fawn Weaver is the New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman’s Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage.

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