Out on the Weekend

(Permanent Soundtrack to the Last Post of the Week, from the Blog’s Second-Favorite Canadian…)

The week came to a sour and awful conclusion. I am not optimistic about the level to which Our National Dialogue will descend over the weekend, as more and more details about what James Holmes did, and why he did it, and how he did it, emerge to be thoroughly masticated by people who get paid to chew our news for us before spitting it into our mouths. (I’m sorry. It’s a bad goddamn day for metaphors.) I think the Sabbath gobshitery on Sunday may very well set a record for empty wankery. We will have the arguing about the event, and then the arguing about how we’re arguing about the event, and then the arguing about how we’re arguing about how we’re arguing about the event. By Monday, we’ll all wake up and discover that space aliens shot up a theater in Colorado. Not by one of us, surely.

And, speaking of space aliens, I have no idea what “former FBI profiler” Clint Van Zandt is talking about when he starts talking about “dark Trekkies.” There are no dark Trekkies. We are all cuddly little Tribbles, every one. Trekkies? Oh, Herbert, you are stiff. Now, those Babylon 5 freaks, on the other hand….

There was some other stuff going on. In 1969, on this date, we did something that we don’t do anymore because we’re more interested in devising complicated investment instruments to steal everybody else’s money.

Archaeologists used to find buried treasure, and they used to dig up long lost cities. Now, they’ve moved on to unearthing ancient lingerie:

Fashion experts describe the find as surprising because the bra had commonly been thought to be only little more than 100 years old as women abandoned the tight corset. Instead, it appears the bra came first, followed by the corset, followed by the reinvented bra. One specimen in particular “looks exactly like a (modern) brassiere,” says Hilary Davidson, fashion curator for the London Museum. “These are amazing finds.”

How cool is it that the London Museum has a “fashion curator”? Now, when I’m trying to decide between two jerkins again, I know who to call.

Elsewhere across the pond, the pros are playing real golf for the one and only time they do so every year. I note that Mr. Woods is laying in the gorse there, four shots back. The great thing about him now is that he is absolutely even money either to win this thing, or to shoot 97 on Saturday. He’s like watching NASCAR at this point.

Regular readers of the blog will recall that it has been carefully monitoring a certain segment of the economy in Tampa, and how that particular segment is gearing up for five days of Republicans at the end of August. Given how central the state of Utah is to the 2012 Republican party, I’d say these are some shrewd business moves. Real American entrepreneurial genius! I think Willard should stop by all of these places and congratulate them on their sheer Americanism:

One place is bringing in a stripper who looks like former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin.  

What worries me is my absolute certainty that this, ah, naked ploy will work. 

My Favorite Machine found a galaxy that’s a lot older than many textbooks in the Louisiana public schools would have you believe.

“The vast majority of old galaxies look like train wrecks,” said co-author Alice Shapley of UCLA. “Our first thought was, why is this one so different, and so beautiful?”  

Have a great weekend, ya pack o’bastids. And remember, there’s still beauty somewhere in the universe. It just takes us 10.7 billion years to see it.

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Consumer Reviews and Online Shopping Giant MyReviewsNow.net Welcomes …

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For the original version on PRWeb visit: http://www.prweb.com/releases/prwebonline/shopping/prweb9710724.htm

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